WAF Deconstructed E-mail
Written by Pat Grant   
Wednesday, 23 October 2013 00:00

(Pat Grant is one of the pioneer women kayak anglers from Northern California.  Grant has traveled to Alaska, Mexico, and mother-shipped far offshore in her career and clarified the WAF conundrum for us many years ago.)

Big Sur 2006 LR0011 In order to maximize your time on the water, certain practicalities must be addressed. One is your WAF account. If your WAF account is not well maintained, the best boat and the greatest skill will be for naught. 

What is WAF you ask? Wife Approval Factor¹. Unless your anthem is Brad Paisley’s “I’m Gonna Miss Her,”² you will maximize your fishing opportunities and general pleasure if you keep this account full. You need a healthy account in order to get onto the water more than twice a year. You can do things that will add to your account and make your absences from home free of acrimony with some forethought and planning.

For example, if you have a good income, fishing on a weekday morning, when she is at work, could cost you a mere 25 points. However, if you have more time than paychecks right now, a morning in the yak while she is putting up with a long day at work can cost 500 points. A weekend of fishing can cost 300 points unless you can talk your buddies into a place that she will enjoy spending the weekend as well. So, with those guidelines in mind, let’s review some ways to add to that account.

For 50 points

1. Clean the fish before leaving the marina.

2. If you must clean the fish at home, dispose of all left over bits by the next morning, even if you just put them in the trash at the gas station.

3. Get a PFD and promise to wear it ... and keep the promise.

4. Get a marine band radio and promise to have it on ... and keep the promise.

5. Call her when you get off the water, not after clean up and lunch with the guys.

For 100 points

1. Record your anniversary date in more than one place. Pre-place your order now so that for the next decade flowers will be delivered on your anniversary.

2. Build a cleaning station at home that will keep all extraneous pieces contained ... and let her use it for crafts projects.

Things that are a wash:

You will not lose points but you won’t gain any either.

1. Plan ahead for fishing items so that whenever you agree to something for the house you can follow 3 days later with something for fishing. Ironically, matching costs is not good here. Keep your fishing costs less, preferably by half, than the item for the house. Big ticket items are a whole different deal and a bit tricky. When you need a new boat, pair that with doing something emotionally huge ... like being charming at dinner with her and her friends.

2. Take her brother fishing when he and the family visit. (see below for better points taking her father).

Cedros09LR byWRichardson0005   Cortes Islanders0009

Before we get to the big point items:

We should review why you may need these deposits.

1. You can lose 150 points for every hour you are late when you said you would be back in time to shop for a sofa.

2. You will also lose 150 points if the fish parts are still in the trash two days later, 300 points on the third day, 600 points the fourth day ... and you will never afford the charge for fishing gear with rotten fish bits decaying on them in the garage.

3. The other incredibly expensive day, in every way, is when you blow it on a day you decided your gear did not need to be leashed and the items that she was not totally comfortable with the cost of when you first bought them are sunk and never seen again.

 

So, for those expensive times, here are some more ways to accrue points.

 For 250 points

Recognize February 14 for what it is. All the cool fisheries are closed so don’t think that there is anything more important than making her breakfast and having a great night out that includes chocolate. You may be thinking that you can get more than 250 points if you select an over the top dining establishment. Ironically, this will not earn you more because Valentine’s Day is mostly a dangerous opportunity to lose points. 

For 500 points

1. Complete a noticeable remodeling project, like painting the bedroom, the week before you want to hit the water. The smaller the project the closer to the fishing date it needs to be. Points begin to be taxed away with the passage of each week.

2. Bring home a 20 pound salmon.

3. Get home from fishing before 9AM.

4. Take her father fishing (worth lots more than taking her dumb brother).

5. Bring your kid fishing with you. Your kid can see Dad be cool with his buddies and Mom gets some real breathing room.

6. When she wins the custom rod at the raffle cheer for her. These points will vanish in a flash if you take it fishing before she does.

Cedros09LR byPLebowitz0011 Pat Cabezon 5 15oz Oct 6

For 1000 points

1. Learn to cook so that she will love the fish you bring home as much as you loved catching it.

2. Learn to make money fishing from your kayak ... and spend part of it on your sweetie.

3. Win a kayak fishing jackpot and give her the money right in front of everyone.

4. Slow your paddling back to the launch even after 6 hours of fishing and even though your legs are numb when your sweetie pleads to drop her line “one more time”. 

5. Do a huge remodel job, like putting in landscaping sprinkler system. These points will be good for at least 3 months.

6. Go fishing with divers and swap a ling cod for a pair of bugs or an abalone (make sure they clean it for you)

7. Borrow a rigged kayak and bring her with you. When she is ready to quit, readily agree to go in. You will either win a best fishing buddy or consistent double WAF because she will have seen what a joy it is for you and feel less jealous now that you’ve shared.

For a lifetime of WAF ... and personal joy

Plan the gestation of your next heir so that the latter stages of pregnancy occur during the tail end of salmon and rockfish season and the birth occurs when most good fisheries are closed and besides the weather sucks. This way, once the cutie is born, you can dote on them both and be genuine about it.

pat grant YT

1WAF: 

Especially in California, there are many variations on WAF. These include but are not limited to GAF, BAF, S-OAF and probably others. There are related accounts that will not be discussed here. DAF can be easily maintained by any dog owner as dogs always love you. On the other hand, there is no such thing as BAF or CAF because babies and cats never entirely approve of anything you do that isn’t what they want when they want it.

2 Brad Paisley, The Fishin' Song

Well I love her
But I love to fish
I spend all day out on this lake
And hell is all I catch
But today she met me at the door
Said I would have to choose
If I hit that fishin hole today
She'd be packin all her things
And she'd be gone by noon

Chorus:

Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I'm on this lakeshore
And I'm sittin' in the sun
I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
Yeah I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite ... all right!

Bridge:

Now there's a chance that if I hurry
I could beg her to stay
That water's right
And the weather's perfect
No tellin' what I might catch today
Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home

 

 

 

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